


Around Here

by milkwithcalsehun



Category: Bangtan Boys, K-pop
Genre: AU, Angst, Hurt, M/M, Romance, Suicide, but there's a beach in it, it's sad y'all not gonna lie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 08:12:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3602823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milkwithcalsehun/pseuds/milkwithcalsehun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Taehyung meets Jungkook in a fog and loses him when it couldn't be clearer.  </p><p>Cross posted on aff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Around Here

**Author's Note:**

> Alright y'all, this here's a Taekook previously posted on asianfanfics on my kkabsong account. It is my fic. I really like archive of our own so I wanted to upload it here too.
> 
> Based off of "Round Here" by the Counting Crows. I highly suggest listening to it. :)
> 
> This is a oneshot.
> 
> Thank you for reading~~

Taehyung liked to walk around his neighborhood at night. He liked it because it was quiet and it felt like it was only him. He liked to dress in solid black for his evening strolls because he liked to blend in with the black of the night and the black of the streets with the stars, the moon, and the street lamps providing the contrast.

The thing Taehyung liked most about walking around at night is that nothing changed. The same cars were parked in the same driveways. The same raccoon ravaged the same trash cans. The same people lived and breathed in the same houses that they had been living and breathing in long before Taehyung was born to do some living and breathing of his own. Around here, nothing ever changes, and that's the way Taehyung liked it.

Not that he was completely unwelcome to change. Change in this sense being a person he didn't recognize standing a little bit in the distance, the night's fog settling around him, and the grey clothing he wore made him look like a ghost among the living, and he blended in to his surroundings like Taehyung, but in a different way.

He made his way towards Taehyung, the fog seeming to follow him. The closer he got to Taehyung, the less he looked like a ghost and the more he looked like an angel. Taehyung was only able to stand there as he walked towards him, watching as the light of the moon and the stars and even those fucking street lamps looked so dim in comparison to him.

The angel-ghost boy reached Taehyung and opened his mouth as if to say something before closing it again. His indecisiveness irritated Taehyung for some reason so he decided to talk for him.

"Do you need something?" Taehyung asked, trying his best not to sound rude, but that statement was pretty hard to say without sounding like a complete asshat.

The angel-ghost boy looked down at the ground rather sheepishly before glancing back up at Taehyung.

"I moved into this neighborhood with my family today and I was just walking around to check the place out but now I, um, can't find my house," the angel-ghost boy said, flashing a toothy grin.

Taehyung just kind of looked at him before nodding and gesturing towards the streets.

"Follow me. I'll get you there eventually," he said and began walking.

"I don't even get to know your name?" angel-ghost boy asked, blindly following Taehyung's solid black form through the neighborhood.

Taehyung was quiet for a minute. He contemplated blindly leading the boy home like a nameless hero, but he decided against it. 

"Taehyung. You?" he asked simply, still walking slightly ahead.

"Jungkook. Hey, do you always direct strangers back to their houses at night?" angel-ghost boy, Jungkook, asked as he tried to walk in step with Taehyung.

"Only cute strangers," Taehyung replied nonchalantly.

"Um. Anyway, are you always out just roaming at night, or is this a once-in-a-lifetime outing, and us meeting is destiny?" Jungkook asked, finally walking alongside Taehyung.

Taehyung smiled at him, his mouth forming a perfect box of perfect teeth that caught the scarce light and made them shine brighter and more perfectly than Jungkook thought possible, and it kind of blew his mind for a solid second.

"If you want to believe this is destiny, then sure. It can be whatever you want it to be. But I do this every night, and nothing out of the ordinary ever happens. But you're out of the ordinary, so maybe this destiny in a way," Taehyung offered, rambling and hoping he made some kind of sense.

Jungkook nodded, but Taehyung didn't see it.

"Can I join you on these evening outings?" Jungkook asked, a tinge of hope in his voice.

Taehyung smiled again.

"If you can remember your way back home," he said, his tone teasing.

Jungkook scoffed and slapped what he hoped was Taehyung's shoulder. It was hard to tell.

"So, uh, do you remember the street you live on?" Taehyung asked, rubbing his upper arm, not his shoulder. He noted that Jungkook had terrible aim.

"If I could, I wouldn't need your help. Just take me down every street and I'll remember which house it is. This little neighborhood isn't really all that little, is it?" he chuckled awkwardly.

Taehyung laughed and took him down his own street. Jungkook recognized his house immediately, the last house on the block.

"That's it!" Jungkook exclaimed with relief.  
“This is literally the second street in the neighborhood. How did you get lost?” Taehyung questioned incredulously.  
Jungkook shrugged. “I dunno, but it suddenly feels like the best place to live ever,” Jungook grinned.

"Because it’s two houses down from my house,” Taehyung said absently, scratching the back of his head.

Jungkook looked over at him with this wild look in his eyes.

"You know what that means?" Jungkook asked him.

"What?" Taehyung asked.

"You can expect me over every. single. day," Jungkook said before sprinting off in the direction of his house.

It took Taehyung a minute to realize what Jungkook had said. And then he cracked a smile.

"Thanks for walking me home!" Jungkook called out to Taehyung before walking into his house and closing his front door.

Taehyung thought to himself as he walked two houses down to his own home that maybe welcoming change isn't such a bad thing sometimes.

***

Taehyung found Jungkook to be nothing if not true to his word. Jungkook was indeed over at his house every single day since it was still summer vacation and they had weeks before school started back. It amazed Taehyung how quickly they had become friends, and how well they kind of just went together as people. He discovered that Jungkook was a little off, in the things he said and how he said them, but it was a good kind of off, kind of endearing really. Taehyung liked it.

"Taehyung, can we, you know, venture out of the neighborhood tonight?" Jungkook asked, his mouth full of potato chips and Taehyung's good cookies.

"Why?" Taehyung asked, seeing no need to change up his usual routine. Jungkook was enough change in his life.

"I want to see the ocean," Jungkook asked, attempting to shove a cookie in Taehyung's mouth.

"But why? And quit wiping your greasy hands on my parents' couch," Taehying griped, smacking Jungkook's hand.

"I just want to see it is all. Come on, I've always lived in the city and you've always lived by the ocean! I want to see it," Jungkook begged.

Taehyung rolled his eyes. He was weak to this kid.

"Sure, whatever," Taehyung said, giving in with a smile.

"Yesssss!!!!" Jungkook exclaimed, standing up to jump on the couch.

"Hey, no jumping on the couch," Taehyung reprimanded.

Jungkook sat back down and wrapped his arms around Taehyung.

"Thanks, hyung," Jungkook sighed.

Taehyung shook his head and took a cookie for himself.

***

Later that night, Jungkook bounced the whole way out of the neighborhood.

"Slow down. You don't even know where you're going," Taehyung barked.

"I've been here almost a month now, Tae," Jungkook sang as he continued to run.

Taehyung took that into consideration before it occurred to him that Jungkook called him 'Tae'.

"Hey! Respect!" Taehyung hollered at him.

The light caught caught Jungkook's skin as he turned around and stuck out his tongue.

"I hope your face freezes that way," Taehyung shot back, trying to catch up with the younger boy.

Jungkook made another ugly face at that comment but Taehyung didn't notice it because he was too busy noticing how Jungkook shone like an angel in the light and Taehyung thought it was just so beautiful, and he had to remember to keep chasing after Jungkook because he was kind of stuck in his tracks just looking at him.

"How much farther?" Jungkook whined as his hyung caught up to him.

"'Bout a mile or two," Taehyung said as if it were no big deal.

Jungkook groaned.

"This is dumb," he whined.

"You were the one who wanted to see the ocean anyway," Taehyung reminded him.

"I just wanted to make some stupid memories with my stupid hyung at the stupid ocean," Jungkook pouted and kicked a rock down the sidewalk.

Taehyung stifled a chuckle. Jungkook could be so cute when he wanted to.

"Hey look. We're almost there," Taehyung said.

"How do you know?" Jungkook asked curiously.

"I can hear the waves," Taehyung replied.

The rest of the walk to the ocean was silent save for Jungkook's occasional shouts.

When they arrived at the beach, Jungkook took off running towards the shore, kicking sand behind him and covering poor Taehyung, who ran after him.

When the boys reached the shore, panting, Jungkook took off his shoes and rolled up his pants legs. He let his feet touch the water experimentally before he waded a little bit. Taehyung watched him a little bit before following suit and splashing the younger boy as they played.

The innocent splashing turned into a full out war. They tackled each other and pinned each other down as the waves washed over them.

At one point, Jungkook shoved Taehyung off of him and began walking to the shore. Taehyung shot him a confused look but let him do his thing.

Jungkook stood where the water met the sand and held his arms out to his sides to balance himself. He began to walk, one foot out in front of the other, as if he were balancing on a tight rope.

"What are you doing?" Taehyung asked, amusement in his voice as he leaned back against his elbows in the water to watch the younger boy.

Jungkook cleared his throat.

"The place where the ocean meets the sand is constantly changing, kind of like life. You try to follow a fixed path, but it's hard, and nothing ever goes like you think it should. It's always changing, always," he said, looking at the ground and trying his very best to stay perfectly balanced between water and sand.

"I don't like change," Taehyung said as he watched Jungkook struggle to stay upright.

"Deal with it. Everything changes. All the time," Jungkook said, tearing his gaze away from the ground to look at Taehyung.

"You're the only change in my life that I like. I don't like change," Taehyung repeated.

Jungkook let himself walk away from the shore and he fell next to Taehyung as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"You like me?" the younger boy, batting his eyelashes.

Taehyung thumped Jungkook's forehead.

"What was that for, hyung?" Jungkook asked, splashing water at Taehyung.

Taehyung turned towards Jungkook and looked deep into his eyes.

"What?" Jungkook asked, looking away and feeling suddenly self-conscious.

"I like you," Taehyung said, his stare not leaving Jungkook.

"I like you, too, hyung," Jungkook said, squirming a little in the water.

"I like you in the exact same way I don't like change. Not meaning that I don't like you, it means I do like you a lot. Because I really don't like change. But I like you. And you're a huge change. It's hard to explain, you know? Like, I've lived in the exact same house for eighteen years, had the same friends since I was little but then you show up in that fog on that night a month ago and it's just, like, boom. Change. But it's good. You're like my angel that's come to save me. And it's fucking good.

"I like how you're super off in what you say and do, but it's the good kind of off. And I like how when I say or do something dumb, or actually this is pretty much always for you, you have on this, like, bitch face like you're disgusted with the world or something but I know you're not and I like it. I like how it only took you a day to swoop in and change my life while the world's been trying to change it for eighteen years. And I guess I just like you," Taehying said, kind of rambling but hoping that Jungkook knew what he meant.

Jungkook didn't say anything for a while. They just relaxed in the water in silence while the waves hit the shore in splashes.

"I'm sorry," Taehyung said, no longer able to take the silence.

"No, I'm sorry. I mean, you just kind of caught me off guard with that confession. I wasn't ready. I feel like the only thing missing are thousands of cherry blossom trees surrounding us. Fuck," Jungkook said, connecting his face with his palm.

Taehyung hummed.

"What do you mean when you say I'm a little off?" Jungkook asked.

Taehyung shrugged.

"You're a little off," Taehyung said vaguely.

Jungkook rolled his eyes.

He stood up from the water and walked back to shore. Instead of walking the line by himself this time, he held out his hand for Taehyung to join him. Taehyung clambered out of the water and reached for his hand. They began to walk where water met the sand and Jungkook started talking all philosophical again, but it sounded sadder this time around.

***

As they were walking back home, Jungkook was a little quieter and Taehyung barely spoke. They walked hand in hand, enjoying the company and taking in the sights that Taehyung knew and Jungkook didn't. They walked back over the big bridge that Jungkook failed to notice the first time around, and the bridge fascinated him.

"Was this always here?" Jungkook asked.

"No. They built it while we were down at the beach," Taehyung said sarcastically.

Jungkook rolled his eyes.

"No shit. But seriously. Why didn't I notice it before? Did we cross it on the way there?" he asked, still curious by the mere presence of the bridge.

"Yeah. You were just too excited to notice," Taehyung shrugged.

"It's really far down from the bridge to the ground, huh?" Jungkook asked.

"Well, yeah. It's above a railroad track, so," Taehyung said, leaving his sentence unfinished.

Jungkook shrugged and dropped the conversation.

Jungkook's fascination with the bridge kind of worried Taehyung though. It was almost like he had never seen a bridge before or something.

They walked in silence again until they reached the neighborhood and Taehyung walked Jungkook home. Jungkook opened the front door to dissappear into his house as Taehyung grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him into himself. He planted a kiss square onto Jungkook's lips before pulling away and winking at him. Jungkook gave him the bitch face in favor of cracking a smile to give Taehyung the satisfaction.

"Goodnight," Jungkook said, a blush forming in his cheeks as he tried to slink into his house.

"Goodnight," Taehyung repeated back to him before turning away and walking two houses down to his own home.

***

The next day, the boys made their relationship official. Nothing really changed for them though, accept for the occasional kiss or the occasional accidentally-on purpose crotch touch.

***

The next month, they started back to school. Jungkook made some new friends as the new guy, though it was with mostly just the riff raff that Taehyung already had as friends, good guys that kind of accepted Jungkook with open arms for who he was and also who he was to Taehyung. The group changed, but just enough to accommodate one extra person, which wasn't much.

***

Three months later, though, it seemed as though things were changing again. With Jungkook. Not with his relationship with Jungkook or anything, but actually with Jungkook. He was becoming more off, and it was becoming the bad kind of off.

Taehyung tried to talk to him about it when they were alone at his house, snuggled together on the couch when his parents weren't home.

Jungkook would brush him off every time he tried, claiming that he was fine and then he would smile that forced kind of smile that Taehyung hated but he loved Jungkook so he would try to deal with it.

Sometimes, Jungkook would lock himself in Taehyung's bathroom and cry. Taehyung didn't know why and he didn't know what he could do to fix it. He would just sit in the hallway against the bathroom door and listen as Jungkook would moan out that he was dying. Whenever Taehyung asked him why, he would respond back with a choked out "I don't know".

***

By their fifth month, the occasional accidentally-on purpose crotch touches became 100% percent on purpose full on hand-in-pants, hand-on-dick touches. Taehyung didn't know how he felt about this because it didn't really feel like it was Jungkook touching him sometimes, because the hand touching him felt fearless and confident, and Taehyung knew Jungkook had problems acting normal when he was nervous.

***

One night, when they're alone and the touches aren't cutting it anymore, Jungkook suggests they go upstairs to Taehyung's bed. Taehyung agreed because it felt like the Jungkook he's come to know and love talking to him, not this new, changed, spaced out Jungkook that he didn't really like but loved anyway.

After they made love for the first time, Taehyung snaked his arms around Jungkook's waist and pulled him to his side. Taehyung knew Jungkook was probably sore and probably didn't want to be touched, but he needed Jungkook to be in his arms. Forever.

"You're so beautiful," Taehyung said lazily but sincerely, kissing the top of Jungkook's head.

"What," Jungkook said more than asked, looking up at Taehyung suspiciously.

"I mean it. You're like an angel. Something about you kind of radiates. I love it. I love you," Taehyung tells him for probably the thousandth time.

Jungkook rolled his eyes and let out this weird kind of half-scoff before nuzzling his face into Taehyung's neck.

"I love you, too," Jungkook, still the normal Jungkook, tells him before closing his eyes and falling asleep in his arms.

***

Walking around at night with Jungkook was becoming less fun. Not because he was starting not to love Jungkook anymore or anything. If anything, he was falling more for Jungkook as each day passed. It was, just, Jungkook was changing. A bad kind of changing. He wanted to spend more time on the bridge and would constantly ask just how far down it was from the bridge to the ground. And sometimes he would cry while he asked. And then he would say he was dying again and that he didn't know why. And then he would ask how far down it was from the bridge to the ground again.

One evening during their seventh month of dating, they walk hand in hand like they always do. They stop on the bridge and look down like the always do. When they look down, they usually don't say anything. They just don't. And if they do, it's never important.

"Hey, Tae," Jungkook says.

Taehyung just hums in response. He expects it to be some unimportant and irrelevant jabber, as the old, normal Jungkook seemed to be back, and the old, normal Jungkook said unimportant and irrelevant things.

"I'm thinking of jumping," Jungkook says as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

That wasn't unimportant or irrelevant.

"What?" Taehyung asked, feeling his heart jump out of his body and off the bridge.

"I've been thinking of jumping," Jungkook repeats.

"Why?" Taehyung asks, feeling like one word sentences will probably be all he can come up with.

"I'm dying," Jungkook repeats, and it feels like it's the first time Taehyung's ever heard him say that because he lunges towards him like he can somehow hold him back.

"Why? And please, for the love of God, don't say, 'I don't know'," Taehyung grits his teeth.

Jungkook shrugs.

"I've been feeling like this since before I moved here. I know it's only in my head, but it's just, I don't know," Jungkook offers, not completely going against Taehyung's anti-'I don't know' campaign.

"Can't I do something?" Taehyung asks, feeling a sick sense of pride in himself for being able to come up with more than one word.

"I love you, Tae. I absolutely, from the bottom of my heart, love you. But this....this is something even you can't change. And you've changed so much in my life for me," Jungkook said sincerely.

"Then why couldn't I fix it so you could stay with me?" Taehyung asked, trying his best not to cry.

"It's not something you can just fix, Taehyung. Look, I don't know if I'm actually gonna do it. I'm just telling you what I've been thinking, okay?" Jungkook says rather exhaustedly.

"Why even tell me?" Taehyung asked, a single tear escaping his eyes.

"Because I trust you to trust me," Jungkook said and he meant it.

"What can I do to make you stay with me?" Taehyung asked, trying not to sound angry.

Jungkook looked at him for the first time during this conversation.

"I'm just tired of living, Taehyung," Jungkook said exasperatedly.

"You must be tired of something," Taehyung said bitterly, and he squeezed Jungkook's hand, the hand he intended to never let go of.

Jungkook squeezed back before apologizing and asking just one more time how far down it was from the bridge to the ground.

***

Jungkook was nothing if not true to his word. Taehyung knew that 'I'm thinking of jumping' meant 'I'm jumping'.

He didn't come over anymore after that night. In fact, he didn't go anywhere anymore. He wasn't around anymore. He left a note, explaining everything. Apologizing for everything. Reassuring Taehyung that it wasn’t his fault and the he didn’t blame Taehyung.

Jungkook's parents blamed Taehyung.

Taehyung blamed himself.

Taehyung's friends and Taehyung's parents knew better.

They tried to make it easier on him but knew, of course, that they couldn't just fix it. It wasn't something you could just fix.

Taehyung tried not to walk around like 'The Guy Whose Boyfriend Jumped Off The Bridge' and 'The Useless Piece Of Shit Who Couldn't Even Save Jungkook'.

He definitely tried to run away from being 'The Guy Whose Boyfriend Jumped When He Was There Watching And Even Though He Reached For The Boy, Even Though He Screamed And Cried For The Boy To Take His Hand, That He Could Save Him, The Boy Jumped Anyway'. That was the worst title that no one knew about. He gave that one to himself.

Jungkook was always on his mind. He never stopped thinking of the boy, with the way he looked like a ghost-turned-angel in the fog on the first night they met, and how he never stopped being Taehyung's angel.

He never would stop being Taehyung's angel.

***

Taehyung liked to walk around at night. It was quiet, but it was better than laying around in his bed all night. He didn't sleep anymore, because when he did, he woke up screaming "Don't go!" from yet another dream of Jungkook smiling at him as he jumped.

Taehyung still wore solid black, partially to blend in and partially in the hopes that he would become part of the earth or that it would just swallow him whole and put him out of his misery. He didn't even want the moon, the stars, or even those goddamn street lamps to find him, because if he was found, if he was noticed, then there was no way that the earth would just kill him like he wished it would.

Now when he walks alone at night, he feels empty. It's the same as it was before, but it feels so different, so changed, that Taehyung fears he may not be able to take it.

In the time when he had Jungkook by his side, he welcomed change because he had someone to go through it with him. But now he was alone again, and the fog was creeping towards him, threatening to cover and suffocate him if he didn't run away, because this time, the fog wouldn't produce an angel that he couldn't save to come save him.

Around here, nothing ever changed, and Taehyung prayed to God that it would because he couldn't fucking stand it anymore.


End file.
